What a whirlwind a week it has been. So much going on that this past week seems like it could have been a month. Thanks to many helpful hands from the church, everything from my apartment got packed, moved, stored, and the apartment got cleaned. I am officially moved out now, which is a huge relief! Another thing that is off my plate and I don’t have to worry about.
I also found out yesterday that one of the assignments I thought I’d have to do before my final workshop in March is not due then. So I will have a little more time to finish the assignments that do need finishing — another huge relief to me! I was beginning to worry I wouldn’t be able to finish everything (although…I’ve always thought that with each module, and I’ve successfully finished 7 modules so far. But the thought of “what if this is the one I can’t finish?” always comes up).
I’m sitting here listening to Pandora right now, taking a short break from school. I’m writing because I’m wanting some outlet to express my thoughts and feelings. My piano is stored, so I can’t play it right now. I’m too tired to go running/walking/outdoors. So I’m going to write.
A couple of the songs from Pandora particularly struck me today. The first was “Hold Me Jesus” by Rich Mullins.
Well, sometimes my life
Just don’t make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small
So hold me Jesus, ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace
And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It’s so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart
Surrender don’t come natural to me
I’d rather fight You for something
I don’t really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I’ve beat my head against so many walls
Now I’m falling down, I’m falling on my knees
Sometimes, surrendering seems to come easy and natural. These past few days, it just seemed like everything is bright and sunny and I could just sing and even dance for joy at the Lord’s working in my life.
And some days are harder, more difficult.
The other day at church, the pastor made a statement that was very interesting. Jesus’ yoke is easy and His burden is light. What makes the way seem so difficult then? Our own flesh fighting against what is good. Like the song says, I’d rather fight You for something I don’t really want than to take what You give that I need. It’s the desires of the flesh that fight against what is good and makes things difficult. Christ’s yoke truly is easy, and His burden is light.
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:28-30
Another quote comes to mind that several Christians such as David Livingstone have made. “I’ve never made a sacrifice.” Is that a shocking statement? These men realized the utter worth of Christ so much that all things they have had to give up would not even be worthy to them of calling a “sacrifice.” In their minds, Christ has given His very life for us. God incarnate dying for us to save us from our own sin and rebellion. What are any of our “sacrifices” compared to that? They are but nothing in comparison.
“For my own part, I have never ceased to rejoice that God has appointed me to such an office. People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending so much of my life in Africa. Is that a sacrifice which brings its own blest reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind, and a bright hope of a glorious destiny hereafter? Away with the word sacrifice. Say rather it is a privilege. Anxiety, sickness, suffering, or danger, now and then, with a foregoing of the common conveniences and charities of this life, may make us pause, and cause the spirit to waver, and the soul to sink; but let this only be for a moment. All these are nothing when compared with the glory which shall be revealed in and for us. I never made a sacrifice.”
So take my body and build it up
May it be broken
As an offering of love
For I have nothing
I have nothing without You”
~Mitch Dane Goskie and Bebo Norman